As an introvert with some value of self-esteem, I get pressured into things very often (because I'd never willingly do them). Every time there’s a dance or another useless social function, all the extroverts around me go, “Just go. You’ll like it.” This statement has always been incredibly odd to me. What makes them think that they, strangers, can tell me what I might like? (Everyone who’s known me for more than a few days knows I will not like it, so most people who tell me to attend social functions and such are strangers.) Of course they probably enjoy attending social functions, as must extroverts do. But how did they survive this long and have never discovered that differences exist between individual humans? Some people have the decency to accept they don’t know everything. They’ll instead say something a bit more chancy such as “You’ll probably like it. You won’t know unless you try.” This is also an incorrect statement for practical reasons. I have enjoyed one social function I thought I’d hate. I was in summer camp, and the first Saturday had a sports day where every single person was required to attend. I ended up bonding with a couple girls who also hated sports. None of us participated in the sports but hid until it was over. Kids had to volunteer to participate—the adults didn’t have a list of our names—so we simply pretended we’d already gone if someone approached us about it. I ended up making a best friend for the rest of the summer, and we kept in contact for a few years after that. So it’s true that I might have fun if I attended every social event possible, but that’s not practical. If we assume a chance meeting like this appears for every fifty social event I attended, I would be wasting countless hours of time making myself bored and uncomfortable for the sake of chasing that one chance encounter. It’s simply not practical. Also, that sports day was required for everyone, introverted or extroverted. I only met that special girl because she was forced to attend too. Attending optional social functions would be near useless for me because I generally only bond with introverts, and no self-respecting introvert would willingly attend some social function. So why should I force myself to go? As for thinking I’d enjoy a social function for its main purpose… Some people seem to believe I was born an introvert and have never tried a single extroverted thing in my life. That’s just false. I, and most introverts I know, have spent our childhoods pretending to be extroverted in order to fit in with our classmates and avoid negative attention from adults. I’ve been to several dances and other social functions—both required and optional ones—and they’ve all bored me to death. Why would I force myself to attend a seventh dance? Doing the same thing multiple times and expecting different outcomes is simply idiotic. I know myself quite well. I haven’t changed since those dances in any core ways. If anything, I’ve become even more introverted, at least at first glance, because I’ve become more sure of myself and gave up pretending to look extroverted. Stop telling introverts—or really anyone who’s different from you—that we’d have fun if we only tried to push our boundaries. We know ourselves better than you do. Stop thinking you know anything about strangers’ lives and what their version of fun entails. Originally written 26 January 2018
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